A flight attendant was stationed
at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand
for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and
flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
******************************************
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys
at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big
enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
******************************************
A college teacher reminds her class
of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family,
but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly
at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand
for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and
flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
******************************************
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys
at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big
enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
******************************************
A college teacher reminds her class
of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family,
but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly
at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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