Bonus Paradise's Poker Club!

Discussion in 'The Poker Talk Corner' started by Marina, Apr 14, 2009.

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  1. Ellis

    Ellis Well-Known Member

    HI Jrba!:kiss:

    Here you have the rules regarding the pokerclub....


    BP's Poker Club is designed to reward Bonus Paradise's loyal poker players.
    Being part of BP's Poker Club will have many advantages.
    To acheive the BP Poker Club Status, there are certain requirements.
    These requirements are:

    • You must be a Bonus Paradise forum member for at least 60 days (2 months).

    • You must have a minimum of 50 posts.

    • Once these requirements are met, you may send Dmoney644, Mike or
    Marina a PM (private message) requesting a membership for the BP Poker Club.
    We will then review your request and after some research, we will determine
    to accept your request for the poker club.

    • BonusParadise.com reserves the right to accept or reject any request
    for the BP Poker Club Membership.
    We also reserve the right to add members to the BP's Poker Club as we see fit,
    even if not all requirements are met​
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2009
    1 person likes this.
  2. PoolDemon

    PoolDemon New Member

    5 more to go, phew, now if only in had something worth posting to get there, is it ok to spam like i just did ???

    :hugs:
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. Vicky

    Vicky Well-Known Member

    :lmao::lmao::lmao:

    But hey gotta good joke?:nuts:
    :hugs:
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. PoolDemon

    PoolDemon New Member

    ok, here it is, be warned, you will laugh your A__ off, (plse move it to the appropriate spot for me, thanks)

    Read (& eat) at your own risk !!!

    I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one.

    You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat, the next day both of your ass cheeks WILL fall off.

    Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning. Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

    Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time.

    The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.

    There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.

    I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

    I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh.

    Mistake. Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

    Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.

    Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my [PoorWordUsage] is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofa b - - - - !', then quickly left.

    Once finished, I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

    That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing To eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls.

    The next day I went to shop at K-Mart. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter.

    Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the whole damn store.
     
    2 people like this.
  5. Ellis

    Ellis Well-Known Member

    :lmao::lmao::lmao::kiss:

     
    1 person likes this.
  6. PoolDemon

    PoolDemon New Member

    and no mention of spam would be complete without us watching this :
    YouTube - Spam Spam Spam Spam Spammity spam
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. Ellis

    Ellis Well-Known Member

    I believe I just pied my pants..........

    :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::

     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2009
    1 person likes this.
  8. Vicky

    Vicky Well-Known Member

    :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
    BEAUTIFUL PoolDemon!
    TOO FLIPPIN' FUNNY!​
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. flylax

    flylax New Member

    I like very much Bwin i am already a member there.

    I like very much also that they have sportbetting to and not only poker.

    Also i like to play poker on Bwin.

    You must go into the binside program so you can getpoints for you playing there.

    You collect popints from your pokerplaying and also from your sportbetting.

    With your points you can buy into a very nice pokerturnaments.

    I like the 25000$ Guaranted which you can buy the ticket for 50000binside points.

    Last turnarnament i been on the first place i wun 6250$ it was in the 29 of March.

    Next turnament is on the 31 of may and i got one ticket into this turnament.

    You mustget at least 35000 points to get to the green level of the membership

    If you are a yellow member you must earned 175000 points.

    You got 3 mounths to collect points to stay into your memberlevel.

    Otherwice you you are not qualifide on your memberlevel.

    Gl with your playing on Bwin

    Best regards / flylax
     
    2 people like this.
  10. pollacs

    pollacs New Member

    hello
    pls for accepting me to the bonus paradise poker club
    thank you :kiss:
     
  11. Mike

    Mike Administrator Staff Member

    • You must have a minimum of 50 posts.​

    i am sorry pollacs but you have only 21 posts,
    you are not a egible at this time.
    as soon you made 50 posts you can try it again
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 13, 2009
    1 person likes this.
  12. Mike

    Mike Administrator Staff Member

    morlocko
    illphillllllll

    have been added on the Poker Club
    Congrats on your new status!
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. Dmoney644

    Dmoney644 Well-Known Member

    Way to guys, congrats on being part of this awesome club!
    Keep an eye open for exciting Club Member Only Specials In The Future.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2009
  14. Pressurer

    Pressurer Member

    Hello, all!
    I haven't logged in for a very long time, didn't have much time for fun, but I hope this will change!
    Thank you that you haven't forgot me!:)
    Good luck all!
    See you at the tables!
     
    2 people like this.
  15. Marina

    Marina Administrator Staff Member

    Nice to see you back Pressurer
    thanks for the kind post :kiss:
     
  16. Mike

    Mike Administrator Staff Member

    Please Welcome mellowmenjo to the Bonus Paradise Poker Club.
     
  17. iosev

    iosev Banned

    nice post, thanks
     
  18. theresamorris006

    theresamorris006 New Member

     
  19. Marina

    Marina Administrator Staff Member

    Welcome to BonusParadise theresamorris006
    I see you quoted my post, but you did not add something to it.

    However, this thread is from 2009. Our Poker Club does not exist anymore.
    I have closed this thread now.
     
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