Hump Day Funnies

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Vicky

Well-Known Member
:D:D:D:D:D

Hump Day Funnies

How do you know when
you're too drunk to be driving?
When you swerve to miss the tree
in the road and
it turns out to be your air freshener.
:D:D:D:D

Two priests get lost in the woods,
when a giant grizzly crashes out
of the timber after them.
After running as fast as they could and
the bear finally catching them,
they plead to the heavens;
"Lord, make this a Christian bear!"
At which point the bear stops, kneels,
folds his paws and says,
"I thank thee Lord, for this meal I am
about to receive..."
:D:D:D:D

Then there's the cannibal that
passed his brother in the jungle...

:D:D:D:D

There's a sequel to the movie Shogun,
only it's going to be set in the deep South.
They're going to call it Sho'Nuff!
 
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How do you know when
you're too drunk to be driving?
When you swerve to miss the tree
in the road and
it turns out to be your air freshener.

:D:D:D:D:D

Love that one!
 
I got one more for you...

:D:D:D:D:D:D

A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar
goes up and starts small talk.
Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name.

"Carmen," she replied.

"That's a nice name,"
he said warming up the conversation.
"Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself." she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men,"
she said looking directly into his eyes.
"So what's your name?" she asked.

"Beersex."​
 
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I might swerve out of the way of the air freshener due soley to my poor vision, haha.

If I ever have a kid, I don't know what I'd name them, but now I'm leaning towards Beersex... (that might help explain their conception)
 

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