- May 19, 2008
Tired of constantly being broke
& stuck in an unhappy marriage,
a young husband decided to solve
both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife with himself
as the beneficiary,
and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch
with a notorious dark-side underworld
figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie then explained to the husband
that his going price for snuffing
out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay
that amount, but that he wouldn't have
any cash on hand until he could
collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something
up front, so the man opened his wallet,
displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly
agreed to accept the dollar as down payment
for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the
man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store.
There, he surprised her in the produce department
& proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands
& as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath
& slumped to the floor........
The manager of the produce department
stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene.
Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind,
ol' Artie had no choice but to
strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings
were captured by the hidden security cameras
& observed by the store's security guard,
who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught & arrested before
he could even leave the store..
Under intense questioning at the police station,
Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
including his unusual financial arrangements
with the hapless husband who was
also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper,
the headline declared
(You're going to hate me for this ... )
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff!
I receive it from my warped friends
and then send it on to you! :lmao::lmao:
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