my life is so unfair

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Jul 3, 2008
I lived my life full of pain,suffering,dismay,and most of all ashamed of myself. I'm the middle sibling and the eldest girl, as what my mom always want me to be a lady that she always wanted but it turns out to be the worst daughter she ever had. I envy those girls that can share their problems to their moms, the only woman that can understand there daughter most. As of my mom, its a big NO! having crushes is a big NO!NO! How can I mature as an individual if I can't experience these things. And so I ended up having relationship with someone in private. It really hurts me a lot to keep it in secret. For I wanted them to know how much I really love him and also to the world. But they forbid it......And my life is living in hell
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Aww, Dear, I Hope You Can Find A Way To Break The News. I'm No Dr. Phil, But Sometimes You Have To Find A Way To Open the Eyes Of Family Around You And Get them To Understand How You Feel.

I May Be Out Of Line Here, But Feel Like You Need A Hug,

So Here You Go,

;) :kiss: ;):kiss: ;) :kiss:

At BP, You Can Tell Who Ever You Want About Anything!​
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No, your life is NOT hell, your worrying about what others think, even if it's your mother, is what's making you so unhappy. God gave you a life for YOU to live in the best way possible, so just do it! The fact that you even worry about what your mom thinks shows you are a caring person, but it should not ever be at your expense, even if it's just emotionally. Be as good to youyrself as you would be to your child; there's no shame in loving yourself, none whatsoever!

And to address your statement that your life is not fair? That's true; it isn't fair that you have family while others have no one. It isn't fair that you are in love, when so many may never experience it. It's not fair that your mother cares about you when so many others are abandoned, abused and even killed by abusive parents. It's not fair that I no longer have my son who died two years ago at the age of 19. You're right, life isn't fair.:sad:

But, it's all in how you look at it! It brings to mind the story of the man who had no shoes. He complained and moaned about how his feet hurt the entire time he was walking down the road. Until he met a man who had no feet.

Remember, God will still love you if you stand up to your mom. Stop being afraid to live, or you will end up an unhappy, bitter soul, and it was in your power all along to be happy. You just have to chose to be so!

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awww loni... my daughter in law passed away at 21 and that was difficult enough... i cant imagine losing one of my kids... you have my heart felt sympathy hon... you are a stronger woman then i, i think, cause im pretty sure id have curled up in a bottle and died there... peace and a better future for ya... elle86
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to all.............

it's incredible insight. thank you for sharing​
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Charan, (what a beautiful name, by the way), When I replied to your post yesterday, I did not mean to imply that your pain and confusion are not valid, important, or that your problem is less important than any one elses, and I'm sorry if I was dismissive. The fact that you shared your dilema with us, tells me you are seeking an answer, but your question is not completely clear. We are working with no facts or details here; I have no idea if you are tpoo young to have this relationship, (your use of the word, "crush" , and the phrase, "How can I mature" makes me believe you are young) and I don't believe that English is your native language, so you may live in a part of the world where my advice may not be appropriate, or God forbid, possibly even dangerous for you in your current situation, so I ask you to please hold the strength in your heart (it will flourish and grow for sure there), and please use good judgement as to when you're going to put it to use!

May you find peace in your soul earlier in your life than I did in mine, so you can enjoy it longer!

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